My first shot at artichokes

Being strict with my diet and not eating after dinner is showing on the scale.  It's nice to see progress, but I keep losing and gaining the same two or three pounds.  I just hope I can keep it up and finally hit my book goal.  I just wish I felt better too.  The Metaformin just makes me feel bloated all the time.  It is a small price to pay if it works.  

Thursday 3/6 - 114.2 Pounds

Friday 3/7 - 113.8 Pounds

I started making the shift to organic produce.  A local CSA called Bear's Honeypot in Millersville, MD has been great with making this happen for me.  It has also helped me try some new things.  My latest share had artichokes.  I've used artichoke hearts before.  This was my first whole artichoke experience.  I decided to simple roast it with garlic.  I prepped my choke, added my garlic, wrapped it in foil and baked it at 425 for 90 minutes.

It was really good.  Even my little man enjoyed scraping the meat off the leaves. Never saw that coming!  It's a time consuming thing to eat.  I would absolutely do it again, but not regularly.  That sucker is really tough to cut.  Best part is the low GI value and calorie count for artichokes.  Win!  

Here's a little PCOS/diabetes survival product

I found these chocolate bars at Trader Joe's.  They are the perfect little treat and won't spike my insulin levels.  It's the little things when so much is off limits.  

40 days and 40 nights

Let Lent begin.  In true Fat Tuesday fashion, I pigged out last night and the scale sure showed it this morning.

116.4 Pounds

It really wasn't worth it, but in the moment it tasted so good.  This is also the first time I went off my low GI diet.  I will not be doing that again anytime soon!  I was up all night with a headache and horrible stomach cramps.  That's what happens when you eat high carb on Metaformin.  Lesson learned and a new day.  I'm going to try to use that number today to stay motivated.  6.4 pounds until I reach my goal.  

I should also be starting my second round of Clomid in a few days.  I'm not looking forward to it.  Keep your eyes on the prize!  I would love to have another baby.  My guy will be 3 in less than 2 months.  He wants a playmate desperately and adores little babies.  

He wanted to hold her the whole time we were visiting.

Here's my meal plan for today

I prefer writing it down to typing it out

Do you give up anything for Lent?  We always did as kids.  Last year we had just moved in so , I decided to do something instead of give something up.  I took my little love to the library every week just to hang out and get some books.  We also went for Storytime sometimes.  This year, I'm giving up eating after dinner.  I was going to give up eating after 8pm but thought I would try to stuff my face until 8:00.  It's only 40 days....so she says on the morning of day 1!

Another week in the books!

This week has had its fair share of ups and downs.  I'm still adjusting to the new diet and medication.  My side effects have been minimal.  On the other hand, my mood and energy levels are all over the place.  

Working out is getting harder.  My guess is that my body no longer has that sugar in my blood to fuel my workout?  It now has to get energy from my fat and muscles, which requires a lot more work. I feel great after a workout!   I am just struggling to push myself when it wasn't as difficult before.  I'm looking at this as a positive change.  

I have made a lot of simple swaps I my diet to make it low GI.  Here's a typical day of eating:

Breakfast:

Apple-I have now switched to organic apples

2 hard boiled egg whites-these are also from the organic market

Green tea-I love the Yogi blueberry slim life green tea.  It's the perfect morning tea.

Morning Meds: Left to right-Cinnamon, B12 and Metaformin

Little man's breakfast: 

Organic blueberry waffles with 100% natural maple syrup.

Organic Banana

Soy milk

And his multivitamin

Am Snack/Post Workout Snack

Kashi granola bar or string cheese

Lunch

Salad: lettuce, onion, carrots, cauliflower, mushrooms, cucumber, all natural lunch meat (no nitrates, no preservative, no additives) and mustard or dressing

Tazo green tea-Zen

Granola bar or low GI bread/low carb tortilla with laughing cow cheese wedge

Little man's lunch

Apple slices

Whole wheat bagel thin with organic jelly

All natural turkey slices

Dry roasted peanuts

Soymilk

Afternoon Meal

Oatmeal:

1/2 cup rolled oats

1 cup unsweetened almond milk

1/2 cup organic strawberries

1 Tbsp slivered almonds

Dinner

Half eaten :) shredded chicken with veggies

When I snack, it is hummus with carrots, almonds, some PB2 or cut fruit.  I have never eaten so clean in my life.  It isn't as hard to eat clean, just to watch my calories.  There are so many high GI foods that are low in calories.  I'm still adjusting to the new diet, but it is easier than the beginning.  I am still struggling with trying to not feel deprived all the time. 

My big accomplishment this week was finally trying Yoga!  If you remember back to the beginning of the year, it was one of my goals.  I took a hot Vinyasa  class one night.  The staff was very welcoming and I felt comfortable immediately.  The class was intermediate, but I did much better than I thought.  I loved being in a 95 degree room doing nothing but focusing on my breathing and my body.  I did get bored after about an hour, but I stuck it out for the whole 90 minutes.  While it isn't my new favorite by any means, it was worthwhile.  I could see myself doing it every few weeks. 

Learning-Failing-Learning-Trying

It has been a whirlwind of a week. I went from knowing little to nothing about PCOS to talking about it 24/7.

Before I go any further I owe my husband a HUGE Thank You.  He has been my rock this first week.  I have talked non stop about my new diet, my medication, my body, my research, my frustration, me me me me me....  He has done nothing but listen, encourage, comfort and support me. He has given me extra time to relax and get myself together on top of it all.  I love this man :)

Like my husband says, I find a problem and I attack it.  PCOS has been no different.  The low GI diet has been a huge sorce of frustration.  Some of it seems perfectly logical and others not at all.  Pasta is better than rice. Cake is better than bread.  Don't eat dairy but do eat yogurt.  Wraps are better than bread.  Long grain rice is better than short grain rice.  Eat beans but only certain types.   I could go on forever!  My meals have been very simple and very low carb.  I miss cereal, pretzels, popcorn, winter squash, and sweets.  The cravings should ease up in about a week and really haven't been so bad.  

I started taken Metaformin and no major side effects yet.  I was exhausted the first day, but I also took it right after spin class with a small snack. Not my best idea.  Now, I take it at breakfast and dinner.  It seems to help with my cravings, especially at night.  The less carbs I eat, the less cravings I have.  Now, I'm trying to find a balance.  I need carbs for workout recovery and energy, but too much makes me have intense cravings.  I'm also sure to eat every 2-3 hours to help stabilize my blood sugar and insulin levels.  It's trial and error.  The Metaformin makes it all easier from what I can tell so far.

I also started taking some supplements recommended through PCOS research and insulin disorders.  I'm taking cinnamon capsules and B12.  They are supposed to stabilize blood sugar and increase metabolism.  Mostly, they can't hurt so, I'm giving it a shot.  My big failed experiment was with vinegar.  Do you remember those fad diets that told you to take a shot of apple cidar vinegar before every meal?  There's actually some truth behind that.  Vinegar helps stabilize insulin levels and blood sugar levels.  A win-win for someone with PCOS.  I did my research and figured I could give it a shot.  Literally, I took a shot of apple cider vinegar Saturday morning before I ate breakfast.  Well, now I know why it helps you lose weight.  I wanted to vomit for the next hour.  It was foul.  Never again!  Never ever again!  I'll stick to putting some balsamic on my salads or veggies. Yuck!

The anxiety has been awful. My stress levels seem higher than ever except for workout days.  The two days a week I don't do any cardio feel impossible.  My temper is short, my cravings are more intense, my energy levels are very low and my motivation does not exist.  I have also been heading to bed at 9/9:30 along with my little man.  I keep reading it takes two weeks to adjust.  For now, I'm sticking it out and trying to keep my sanity.  

One day at a time.  I will beat this.  

I have PCOS

It has been a while since I updated everyone on my fertility journey, weight loss progress, and life in general. 

Lets start with the fertility treatment.  We finished our first round of clomid without any success.  The negative pregnancy test hit me pretty hard.  It hit me a lot harder than I expected.  I knew I wanted a second baby, but the negative test showed me just how much I wanted it, how ready I was, and how much I had been in denial about the whole thing.  We still have two more rounds of clomid so, not all hope it lost.  To make matters worse, the clomid failed to make me ovulate at all.  This means I have to take a month of birth control pills to get my cycle so we can start round #2.  It is all exhausting, stressful, and frustrating.  

Progress pictures from last weekend

Front view.  Not much change.

There are abs in there somewhere.

Weight loss hasn't been much better.  I have been hovering between 113-115 pounds.  I'm working hard, sticking to my diet and getting no where.  I thought I had hit a plateau.  My friend, personal trainer, and fellow fit Mom has been working with me to make diet and workout adjustments.  Nothing seems to be working.  It is all exhausting, stressful, and frustrating. 

Life is marching right along.  We have been hanging frames and putting finishing touches on little man's room.  I'm painting the trim and doors in the hall upstairs.  I seems to be spending most of my time entertaining my son or working on the house.  My husband has been traveling on and off for the past few weeks, working weekends and working late.  Potty training has not been going well.  Little man has had two 24 hour stomach bugs.  It has been very busy. around here, but also very productive.

Sneak peak :)  Who doesn't write songs without pants?

The biggest news with my health is I'm finally ready to accept that I have PCOS.  What is PCOS?  Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is an endocrine disorder.  It affects as many as 1 in 10 women and has a huge list of symptoms including infertility, obesity, type 2 diabetes, anxiety and acne to name a few.  Find More Information Here

My OB/GYN diagnosed me a few months ago and I blew it off.  I googled it and saw that most women with PCOS have ovarian cysts and are over weight.  Well, I have no cysts that I know of and am not over weight.  He must be wrong.  My endocrinologist unknowingly confirmed his diagnosis by telling me my insulin levels are high and my cortisol levels are high.  Here's how having PCOS is affecting me.

Infertility

My hormone levels are off balance in ways I never knew.  My body does not manage insulin like it should.  This is causing me not to ovulate so, my chances of getting pregnant on my own are slim to none.  Clomid will still help me ovulate but there are other things I can try.  Metaformin is a drug prescribed to diabetics that helps manage insulin levels.  Many women with PCOS have had success managing their insulin levels, even ovulating on their own or conceiving in combination with Clomid while taking Metaformin.  I got approval from my Endocrynologist to start Metaformin.  I'm so excited!  My OB/GYN called in the prescription today and I will start a small dosage tomorrow.  My hope is this will help regulate my hormone levels to make the clomid more effective. 

Weigh loss and management

PCOS makes it 2-3 times harder to lose or maintain weight.  Why? Four reasons.  First, high insulin levels prevent fat loss.  I'm not going to get into the medical reasons why, but here's a link that explains more. 

http://www.fertilityauthority.com/fertility-issues/causes-polycystic-ovarian-syndrome/weight-loss

 Second, women with PCOS have intense cravings due to high insulin levels.  Third, these hormone imbalances cause high rates of anxiety and depression.  Both of these inhibit the body from burning fat but raising cortisol levels.  Finally, all of this adds to a slow metabolism and weight gain despite exercise and a reasonable diet.  

Yes, I learned all of this and started sobbing.  I called my husband and had a complete breakdown.  It all seemed so unfair and overwhelming.  It still does.  Somewhere under all of this I feel like a badass.  Yup, I'm a rockstar.  Everything in my DNA has been working against me and I'm still in great shape.  Can you imagine what I would look like if I didn't work out so hard and eat so healthy?!  I would be overweight and probably diabetic.  I would also still have fertility problems.  Can you imagine what I would look like if I didn't have PCOS?!  

I gave myself a couple days to process the information and do some research.  The best thing I can do besides the Metaformin is to follow a low glycemic index. (GI) diet.  Lots of the healthy foods I had been eating were sabotaging my fertility and weight loss efforts.  Healthy high GI foods I eat regularly include pumpkin, winter squash, breads (even some whole wheat), popcorn, pretzels, honey and watermelon.  All of these spike my insulin levels and cause a chain reaction of weight gain and infertility.  

Knowledge is power and now I know!  There are some medium GI foods I can have in moderation but always paired with low GI foods to limit my insulin from spiking.  These include bananas, corn, peas and most whole wheat grains.

The good news is there are a ton of low GI foods I love.  All protein, fats, low fat dairy, most beans, most vegetables and fruits and some whole grains such as old fashioned oats, brown rice, quinoa, wheat tortillas and whole wheat thicker pasta.  I will have to limit my dairy intake with PCOS but even some icecream is only medium. It's more the added hormones in dairy I need to worry about.  

Anxiety and Depression
What do you mean everyone doesn't get anxious about every day life and activities?  What do you mean people don't suddenly feel exhausted and defeated for no real reason?  Oh, women with PCOS do!  I have to do my best to lower my stress level by limiting my anxiety.  I'm practicing breathing techniques while I shower or while my mind is racing before bed.  Learning about PCOS has not really helped my anxiety or this weather (I hate snow) or not being able to get to the gym (my stress relief and happy place) or my husband traveling a ton or my family's health problems or my guilt about not being a better Mom to my boy.  I'm slowly trying to eliminate things in my life that cause me anxiety if I can.  Just writing all of this down makes me feel more organized and relaxed.  Lowering my stress levels will help regulate my cortisol and give me a better chance of conceiving and a better quality of life. 

It has been a lot to learn, but now I have answers and direction.